Shedding Labels, Embracing Authenticity: A Call to Action
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The darn label maker
Let's talk about that pesky label maker we all seem to have tucked away in our minds. Nope, not the one for your kitchen jars, but the one that's constantly tagging YOU with labels. You know the one.
So, here's the deal: what labels are you carrying around, and more importantly, do you really want to stick with them? Today, let's zoom in on those not-so-helpful labels, the ones that drain your mojo.
I challenge you to take just 3 minutes and jot down all those negative labels floating around up there. We're not talking about roles like being a parent, child, partner, etc. No, we're diving into those "I am" labels.
Think about it: "I am not smart." "I am not good enough." "I am not a wordsmith." "I am not a sales superstar." "I am terrible at recalling names." "I am lacking patience." "I am selfish." "I am flaky."
What's scribbled on your label maker? Let's unpack those and see if they're worth keeping around.
Most disturbing label
You won't believe one of the most startling labels I stumbled upon: "I am a woman." Can you imagine? When did being a woman start carrying such a disempowering weight? Flashback to the 80s, and yeah, you get the picture.
Back then, being a woman often meant being viewed as a mere object of desire, someone considered "lesser than." The whole concept of the glass ceiling was drummed into us. We'd hear, "You won't earn what men do for the same job because, well, you're female. It's just how things are. Deal with it." Complain about it? Oh no, that would just make you an aggressive, domineering, you-know-what.
My entire career was colored by this chip on my shoulder, all because of my gender. Crazy, right? As I write this, I'm stunned by my own words. I mean, I knew I felt this way, but it's hitting me differently now.
I ended up downplaying my femininity in every aspect of my life. Black clothes? Check. Pants over skirts? Yup. At home, I was "the boss," making all the calls. I felt the need to be in control, to have all the answers, to be tough as nails. No room for emotions or vulnerability. I was basically trying to be a man in every sense.
Looking back, it's like, what was I even thinking? I see now all the ways I rejected being a woman.
Can you relate? Have you ever felt like a core part of yourself was shoved aside, leaving you feeling "less than"? Whether it's your skin color, your heritage, your gender—what's disempowered you?
At what cost?
What's the toll of carrying around this label? What have you had to sacrifice?
For me, it meant sacrificing my ability to express emotions. My son once told me I seemed emotionless, aside from flashes of anger. Ouch, right? It hit home because it's true. I feel a whirlwind of emotions inside, but I've become a pro at keeping them hidden. Neutral or angry seemed like the only acceptable states to show. Even now, opening up about feelings is a struggle.
It also took a toll on my marriage. I rejected traditional feminine roles so fiercely that just being called a wife made me physically flinch. I played the tough guy in the relationship, but deep down, I longed to embrace a different dynamic. I wanted my husband to step up more, to share the load of parenting and household management, but I never let him. I never asked for help or let on that I couldn't handle everything on my own.
How about you? How have your labels shaped the way you've navigated the game of life?
Redefine your labels
Once a label hits you hard, it's like it's stamped in your mind forever. As you go about your day with this newfound awareness, you'll start noticing all the ways this disempowering label has shaped your actions and attitudes.
So, what's the plan now? Stick to the status quo or make a change? Are you ready to trade in that old label for a fresh one, or maybe it's time to redefine it altogether?
In my case, it's about redefining what "I am a woman" means to me. I'm determined to find empowerment in my gender.
Think about it: Women have this incredible ability to bring life into the world. We excel as compassionate leaders, capable of shaping the world through kindness.
And emotions? They're not a burden; they're a gift. They're how we truly experience life, after all.
Let's not forget, imperfection is where the magic happens. We don't always need to have all the answers. Life's far more exciting when we embrace the uncertainty of what's to come.
Your theme song
As I was pouring out these thoughts, guess what started playing? "Rise Up" by Andra Day. Talk about perfect timing! That song now holds a whole new meaning for me—a soundtrack to this eye-opening journey of rediscovering my relationship with femininity.
So, here's a little challenge for you: Find your own theme song. What tune captures the essence of how you're going to stride forward from here?
If you want more on this topic, watch this short video by Jamie Kern Lima. She does a great job talking about disempowering labels. I haven’t read her new book yet but I did read her previous book and it was great.
Conclusion
In conclusion, our journey of self-discovery has shed light on the weighty impact of labels—how they shape our perceptions, influence our actions, and sometimes limit our potential. Yet, armed with newfound awareness, we stand at a crossroads, ready to rewrite our narratives and redefine our identities.
It's a call to action, an invitation to challenge the status quo and embrace change. As we peel away the layers of societal conditioning, we uncover the raw beauty of authenticity and the power of self-acceptance. It's about reclaiming our voices, celebrating our uniqueness, and forging ahead with unwavering courage.
So, let's trade in those old, disempowering labels for ones that uplift and inspire. Let's redefine what it means to be women, men, humans—embracing our strengths, acknowledging our vulnerabilities, and reclaiming our right to be seen, heard, and valued.
As we embark on this journey of transformation, let's not forget to find our theme song—the melody that echoes our resilience, fuels our determination, and reminds us that we are the architects of our own destiny.
Together, let's rise up, rewrite our stories, and step boldly into a future where authenticity reigns supreme, and the possibilities are limitless.
